Gender bender...

This giant sign has been the bane of my existence these days.  Thing one gets very perplexed now when we have to use public restrooms.  He looks at the sign in which we are entering and exclaims "BUT I'M NOT A GIRL!!".  *SIGH*  Each and every single time, same conversation. 

This new behavior and observation has come to be since he started preschool.  He is now very aware of his gender. "I am a boy momma."  I hear this over and over every time I try to inch him into the "girl" restroom.  The whole time he is pulling towards the "boy" bathroom that is inches away.  This scenario could make anyone chuckle, but to me it is the reminder that I am a single mother raising a son. It's also a reminder that there are occasions in which I have to sit and explain to Thing One that:

1. He cannot do some things, because mom is not capable of going into the male restroom with him, because well I am a girl. AND
2. I don't have a male counterpart that could take him or do some of the things he desires to do. " You can't go by yourself son, you are 4!"

I don't even have a dad or brother to even say "you take him". Those moments I am aware of how important it is for him to have a good male example around.  He has Big Cheese during the week, but there are those moments when he is with Mami, Thing Two, and I that I wish I could let him in that "boy" restroom with someone trusted. 

So for now I just try my best to give him other options for restrooms.  Like the family restroom, or the Male/Female restroom above. I do a lot of speaking with him and try to get him to understand that for now, when he is with Mommy he is stuck in a female world.  But this will only last for so long.  I am trying my best to get some positive male role models in his and my life.  I am lucky to have friends with husbands who are willing to help and that is a sigh of relief at times. 

Thing One does a bring a smile to my face when he exclaims "You're not a girl! You're a Mommy"

My take away from all this is :  Don't let the limitations hinder you, learn from them. 

Believe me I'M TRYING. *sigh*

You have a WHAT?!?!

Last night as I do every night I was bathing both Thing One and Thing Two.  I've never found it odd that I bathe my children together, even if they are a boy and girl, it's never been an issue for me.  Actually it was for the most part a time saver.  Two kids, one bath, killed two birds with one stone.

Back to last nights bath.  Since Thing One has been potty trained he has this quirk that he pulls at his private part all the time.  I've read this is pretty normal, for me it's mostly the fact that he yanks it so hard he may hurt himself one day.  So as I have always done I gently remind him that he does not need to touch it unless he is going to the bathroom.  So there was Thing Two yanking at himself.  I finally had to say "Thing One, stop pulling at your penis!".  Thing Two is in the repeat stage and follows her brother Thing One's every movement, so you can imagine what came next.  Thing Two points to her private parts and says "PENIS!".  My thought was, ok we haven't told her the name of her part.  I told her "No Thing Two, you have a vagina".  What ensued next brought me to tears.  Thing One looks at himself and says " I have a GINA too! See!" (points to private part)  I wanted to laugh so hard, but I kept it together.  Then I repeated to Thing One that he had a penis.  Thing One in his loudest 3 year old voice says "NO! They match mommy!"  Well I almost was crying from the laughter. 

So there I am, wanting to share this with someone and so I text message Big Cheese to let him know what had happened.  I don't know if he was a little perplexed and maybe even a little disturbed by the fact that this had occurred.  He just was confused.  What do we do?  Should we have them bathe together?  I guess at that moment I realized that we had different parenting styles.  I'm all about being open with my children, letting them ask questions and having the accurate information for them.  That is why I refuse to have Thing One call his private parts "wee wee" or his "pee pee".  He knows he has a penis and now he has a name for his sister's anatomy.  I guess some people are still a little closed off and private when it comes to children learning the correct terms for their anatomy, and that's ok. 

So am I going to separate them in the shower?  I suppose eventually I will have to. For now I think it's pure and simply an observation for both of them and they are learning about the uniqueness in their own body.  Others may have other opinions about what I do, but I see nothing wrong in what I am doing so far with them.  So what did I say to Big Cheese?  Well that's easy, the same thing I do with Thing One and Thing Two.  I let him ask questions and I gave him accurate and concerete answers.  Sometimes Adults need to be approached the same way as young children. ;)