Wordless Wednesday: Homemade Valentine for someone special

An only child experiencing Sibling Rivalry

Oh sure they look sweet up there ^ , all sugar and spice and everything is nice. That reality is farther from the truth.  This was a brief and eluding moment in Thing One and Thing Two's everyday existence.  For the most part it is what I experienced the other morning with them as I was trying to get them out the door.

Thing Two *sitting on the toilet* :  Mommy I on the potty, ok.
Thing One *standing over sink brushing his teeth*: DON'T SAY POTTY!
Thing Two *singing voice*: POTTY! POTTY! POTTY!
Thing One *annoyed and yelling*: NO STOP! STOP SAYING POTTY! MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMY!

Me *Sigh*: Both of you stop.  Thing Two finish going potty and stop saying potty.  Thing One doesn't want to hear it.  Thing One, just ignore your sister and finish brushing your teeth.


Now I am certain this is normal for those of you who have had siblings growing up.  The fight over who is mom's favorite, the one that gets the attention.  It's a constant battle of what is yours and what is mine.  Trying to fit in, where you can get in.  That was not my experience.  I was an only child for the most part.  My parents had me and I had a slew of half siblings that were far older than I.  As a matter of fact I had nieces and nephews either older or a few years younger than I.  I was what people refer to as a lonely only.  I often longed for siblings close to my age to play with.  Often I would watch families with children close in age with envy.  For the most part I play referee trying to understand how a simple thing like a look or word can send them over the edge.

I guess it is safe to say that I am learning along with my children what the sibling experience is all about.  Who would have known it was going to be this hard to just have them get along.  Sure they get along like the picture above but and that is what gives me hope.  When one is without the other they ask where they are and if they are ok, and how much they miss their sibling.  It gives me hope that someday down the line the fights will be few and the love will be plenty.

Is there something that you never experienced growing up that you have had to learn now as a parent?

This is NORMAL.

Let's get these holidays going...

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Take ONE, Take TWO, Take THREE...PERFECTION!

You have to love all those photo editing programs!

One by One

Together, but not.

10 years ago I thought I would never be a mom of one child let alone two.  Here I am a mommy of two beautiful children who make me want to pull my hair out at times.  Having two children only 17 months apart can be on the top list of stressful.  I have days when I realize that I no longer have two in diapers and the last child is almost ready for potty training.  I still have my challenges everyday. 

On occasion I have special one on one time with each child.  It seems so effortless to communicate with Thing One or Thing Two on our special one on one time.  My whole focus is one that one child and I seem to learn so much about them as an individual.  Thing One is actually a lot calmer when Thing Two is not around.  He seems to focus a lot better on a task and his thoughts are clear as well as his speech.  He is also not quite as loud. I'm thinking it's because he doesn't have to compete with Thing Two's incessant loud chatter. 

Calm

When Thing Two is alone with me, we can focus on things I know best.  Girl stuff.  She likes to play with my jewlery and pretend she is putting on my make-up.  I have to admit I soak up this time with her.  There are things that only a mom and daughter can share sometimes.  We've gone on shopping trips and we can just look at different clothes, and dress up items in the toy section.  She is a lot more patient than Thing One on a normal day and these are the times I can actually see how observant she is of the world around her.  I'm not constantly interrupting her thoughts while I have to remind Thing Two to stop what he is doing or to leave his sister alone. 

Observing. 

I often think what it would be like to just raise one child. Parenting is hard enough with one child, but adding another into the mix is just wild.  Each child feeds off each other and sometimes I feel as though one is losing out in their basic personality.  Then I think where would they be without each other.

They bring out the best in each other and protect each other.  Sure there is a lot of fighting and arguing, but for the most part they are each other's best friend.  Things would be much easier with one, but with two it's a life of fun.

If you have more than one child what do you do to create alone time with you?  Do you think your child is different alone than with their sibling?

Wordless Wednesday - 2 Toddler beds + 1 Lonely toddler = 1 Shared Love

Well Good Morning!

You Are Not Alone

Reading to his baby sister

Growing up I was the only child in our household. My sister was 13 years older than me and was out of the house by 16. She moved out and shortly after that moved to another state. I really didn't get an opportunity to build that sibling relationship. I always felt cheated of that relationship of sibling everyone else had. Of course my friends would tell me I wasn't missing out on anything. They would tell me horror stories and tell me I was lucky I didn't have to share anything with anyone.

You see, that was just it. I didn't really have someone to share that special bond of growing up in the same household and sharing that experience. I was the typical lonely only child. I may have experienced more bonding with my parents because I had no others to bond with. From the time I can remember I. wanted to have more than one child. I wanted my children to have the same special memories and the bond of being siblings.

Cut to my years of struggling to even conceive. I almost lost hope of even having one child, let alone more. It was a very sad realization that I may have to raise a lonely only. I think it was just a very hard moment all together to accept that a child would grow up with no connection to a sibling like I did.

When I got pregnant with Thing One I was both surprised and elated! All I could do was think of him and how happy I was. Labor was actually pretty good, enough so that right after I gave birth to him I said to the nurse " I will be here next year!". Maybe I was filled with endorphins at the time from giving birth. Big Cheese looked at me crazy when I blurted that out. He already had two teenage sons from a previous relationship and this was not an option.

With Big Brothers

From the time I had Thing One I knew he should have a sibling, and not just his two older brothers. He needed someone to share crazy family stories, someone to talk to as an adult and just have that bond. Big cheese was against it. For me I pushed forward with the idea like a presidential campaign. Finally he agreed that when Thing One would turn one we could try.

Our first vacation away from Thing One was when he was 8 months old. What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas! I was pregnant again, a little sooner than I anticipated. I cried, and not because I still had a baby and I was pregnant, I did it out of happiness. Thing Two would never be alone.

Thing One was 17 months old when his sister Thing Two showed up. I worried so much about how they would get along. Would they get along? I thought, well maybe he won't want to hang out with his sister as much. So many worries! Thing One couldn't be bothered by his new sister for awhile. He kissed her but he was just happy to be himself and walk away. I'm sure it was just his age but it still made me worry.

Why is she here???!!!

Thing One will be three years old soon and Thing Two just turned a year and a half. She follows Thing Two everywhere. She wants to do everything he does and I can see the admiration she has for him. It still worried me that Thing Two was not quite as affectionate towards her as she was with him. He sometimes seemed bothered by her hugs and kisses.

I like Super Why, because my brother does!

I went to pick up Thing One from the baby sitter for his swimming lessons the other day. Usually I pick up Thing Two as well and drop her off at home to stay with Mami, but that day Mami wasn't feeling well. I left Thing Two with the baby sitter and took Thing One with me. I had already anticipated Thing Two would be upset to be without her brother and myself. What happened next surprised me. Thing One looked at me and asked "yiyi?" (His name for her). I explained to him that she was staying there and we were going swimming. He threw himself on the floor and screamed "No! No! No!" I had to pick him up and put him in the car kicking and screaming. The whole time he was reaching out and screaming for Thing Two.

I brushed it off as just a reaction from the change of our normal routine. After swimming I dropped him off first and was going to pick up Thing Two. When we got home Thing One was running into the house and said hi to Mami, but the person he was calling for was"yiyi, where are you?". He went from room to room. I brought her back home and he ran to her hugged her and kissed her on her head "MUAH!" She was just as happy to see him.

It was a sigh of relief at that moment for me. It was just too precious. They would always have each other, even if somedays they didn't like each other or shared the same interest. They would ALWAYS love each other.

I really do love her ! <3