July 22, 2010

You Are Not Alone

Reading to his baby sister

Growing up I was the only child in our household. My sister was 13 years older than me and was out of the house by 16. She moved out and shortly after that moved to another state. I really didn't get an opportunity to build that sibling relationship. I always felt cheated of that relationship of sibling everyone else had. Of course my friends would tell me I wasn't missing out on anything. They would tell me horror stories and tell me I was lucky I didn't have to share anything with anyone.

You see, that was just it. I didn't really have someone to share that special bond of growing up in the same household and sharing that experience. I was the typical lonely only child. I may have experienced more bonding with my parents because I had no others to bond with. From the time I can remember I. wanted to have more than one child. I wanted my children to have the same special memories and the bond of being siblings.

Cut to my years of struggling to even conceive. I almost lost hope of even having one child, let alone more. It was a very sad realization that I may have to raise a lonely only. I think it was just a very hard moment all together to accept that a child would grow up with no connection to a sibling like I did.

When I got pregnant with Thing One I was both surprised and elated! All I could do was think of him and how happy I was. Labor was actually pretty good, enough so that right after I gave birth to him I said to the nurse " I will be here next year!". Maybe I was filled with endorphins at the time from giving birth. Big Cheese looked at me crazy when I blurted that out. He already had two teenage sons from a previous relationship and this was not an option.

With Big Brothers
From the time I had Thing One I knew he should have a sibling, and not just his two older brothers. He needed someone to share crazy family stories, someone to talk to as an adult and just have that bond. Big cheese was against it. For me I pushed forward with the idea like a presidential campaign. Finally he agreed that when Thing One would turn one we could try.

Our first vacation away from Thing One was when he was 8 months old. What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas! I was pregnant again, a little sooner than I anticipated. I cried, and not because I still had a baby and I was pregnant, I did it out of happiness. Thing Two would never be alone.

Thing One was 17 months old when his sister Thing Two showed up. I worried so much about how they would get along. Would they get along? I thought, well maybe he won't want to hang out with his sister as much. So many worries! Thing One couldn't be bothered by his new sister for awhile. He kissed her but he was just happy to be himself and walk away. I'm sure it was just his age but it still made me worry.
Why is she here???!!!
Thing One will be three years old soon and Thing Two just turned a year and a half. She follows Thing Two everywhere. She wants to do everything he does and I can see the admiration she has for him. It still worried me that Thing Two was not quite as affectionate towards her as she was with him. He sometimes seemed bothered by her hugs and kisses.

I like Super Why, because my brother does!
I went to pick up Thing One from the baby sitter for his swimming lessons the other day. Usually I pick up Thing Two as well and drop her off at home to stay with Mami, but that day Mami wasn't feeling well. I left Thing Two with the baby sitter and took Thing One with me. I had already anticipated Thing Two would be upset to be without her brother and myself. What happened next surprised me. Thing One looked at me and asked "yiyi?" (His name for her). I explained to him that she was staying there and we were going swimming. He threw himself on the floor and screamed "No! No! No!" I had to pick him up and put him in the car kicking and screaming. The whole time he was reaching out and screaming for Thing Two.

I brushed it off as just a reaction from the change of our normal routine. After swimming I dropped him off first and was going to pick up Thing Two. When we got home Thing One was running into the house and said hi to Mami, but the person he was calling for was"yiyi, where are you?". He went from room to room. I brought her back home and he ran to her hugged her and kissed her on her head "MUAH!" She was just as happy to see him.

It was a sigh of relief at that moment for me. It was just too precious. They would always have each other, even if somedays they didn't like each other or shared the same interest. They would ALWAYS love each other.
I really do love her ! <3

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