Mama Kat's World Famous Writing Workshop: I do believe in the Magic of Disneyland!

One of this week’s Mama Kat’s World Famous writing prompts brought me a flood of memories.

“It happened at Disneyland… “ Read on.

Living in the city of Angels gives me an opportunity to be literally a hop skip and a jump away from the Happiest Place on Earth (also known as the most expensive, but I digress) . My first visit ever to Disneyland was one I was just a month old.  Of course this was in the days when you didn’t have to give a liver and promise for other body part upon death to get in.   We had family visiting and dad always made sure they had a trip to Disneyland.  I guess that is why I took it for granted for so many years that it was so close.  I was always excited to go, but alas it would always be there. I lost the true magic of the place somewhere and didn’t go for years.  Somewhere between high school Grad night at Disney and the one or two trips after that, I lost the love for it.

This love loss prevented me from ever wanting to go again.  That is until about two years ago.  Thing One and Thing Two fell in love with the Mickey Mouse Club House. They were sucked into the world of Disney.  DARN YOU CATCHY SONG! 

Then there were endless birthday wishes of “I want to see where Mickey and Minnie live Momma” .  There eyes pleading, begging.  How do I fight this?  Easy I looked at the prices and nearly passed out.  “What do you mean I have to pay for a 3 year old???!!! “  Commercialism at it’s best.  They wanted me to bite.  I didn’t instead I took them to Disney on Ice.  What is a single mom to do after all.  So for the next year after seeing Disney Ice they did nothing but talk about the experience and how the loved it.

 I got it folks “Parent Guilt”.  So for the next year I plotted and planned on how to make Disneyland more affordable to a single mom.  I found ways around it and saved money and I got us tickets for the most magical time of the year at Disneyland, the holidays.

People, do you know what happened?  I LOVED LOVED LOVED sharing it through the eyes of two excited little children.  Their excitement and joy was mine.  Everything was new and everything was worth seeing.  Even sharing the scary moment of meeting the characters and freaking out with Thing Two was worth every penny.  I’m already planning next year’s trip.  When the castle was lit and we were on Main Street and the man made snow fell as the gentle Christmas music played I cried.  I get it now, I get why my dad would take us all the time.  It’s not about how much he spent; it was about the magic he saw in my eyes. 

It was a wonderful 1st visit to the Magic Kingdom!

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Blogversary Part Deux...

Two years go by so quickly and yet they stand still.  I still remember why I wanted to blog.  It was a personal journey.  My heart and mind were swirling and I was trying to grasp at what my role was as a single mother of two very young children.  Nothing ever really prepares you for the struggle of trying to negotiate with an ex partner over children who you love deeply. My hopes and dreams ever since I can remember was to have a family that included a father a mother and children all under one roof.  So coming to grips with the fact that I would be a single parent has been one of those moments when you don't necessarily give up, but you have to decide to move forward. 

Through it all my two babies have grown almost unscathed and have had a very normal childhood.  We've had bumps and heart wrenching moments along the way, yet here I am writing to say "it's okay". 

Parenting is never easy, add hurt feelings and broken relationships and it gets sticky.  Big Cheese and I have compromised and we have learned to put things aside for the most important things in our lives: Thing One and Thing Two.  Sure there are still obstacles to overcome, but I have learned a lot as I am sure Big Cheese has.

To all of you who take time to come and read my little blog, thank you.  You have often left encouraging notes and have empathized with whatever craziness I am going through.

So to another year of mountains to climbs and put my little blog flag on! :)

CHEERS!



Mama Kat's World Famous Writer's Workshop: Phobia re-visited

Mama Kat's World Famous Writers workshop had a prompt that I couldn't avoid.  It was recent and fresh and I had to share:  A case of the nerves! When was the last time you had them and how did you get through it?

Sweaty, a slight tremble in my hands, eyes wide open, heart pounding, and a nervous smile. That is what happens when I see a dog coming towards me. It doesn’t matter the size, the breed, how friendly they are, or even how much they are barking at me.  I have over come the screaming and running the opposite direction, phase of this fear. Although in my head I am doing JUST THAT.  My dad helped me overcome that side of my phobia when I helped raise a dog from a puppy at the age of 10.  Still, in the back of my illogical head I want to run and scream. It makes for tense forced feelings inside that do not manifest themselves outwardly, but that I suffer silently in my mad head.  Or am I really that illogical in my dog phobia?  I mean after all I still vividly remember the day our little Chihuahua “Ronnie” bit my big toe while I was playing with him outside.  I was 3 years old, and I still remember. 

Flash forward to Monday, March 12, 2012. Thing Two is three years old and loves and adores dogs, particularly the small non-threatening type.  I have always told her that not all dogs are to be approached and played with, and specifically not to pull ears or tails.  I haven’t wanted to scare what is natural for her to love dogs and be around them because of my fears.  So this day in particular was tense, nerve racking and exhausting as any day I have had. 

I was picking up the children from the baby sitter and I was talking to the sitter as Thing One was finishing up his dinner.  The sitter was telling me what a great day they were having and that my daughter was in the backyard with her husband and her grandchild.  That is when I heard it.  The scream that sent chills through out my body.  I ran outside only to see Thing Two’s cherub like face covered in blood.  I could see a gaping hole on her top lip.  “MOMMY, the DOGGY HURT ME”  I knew the sitter’s dog had bit her.  All at once I felt her pain, her panic, and my adrenalin propelled nerves were set in.  From the moment I scooped her up and got to the ER two blocks down the street is a blur.  I know we got there in a matter of seconds and there are about 2 lights to get there, so I can only imagine what I did.  

Once in the ER it was standing room only. Thing Two was screaming and screaming and saying it hurt.  I wanted to cry with her.  As a parent it pains you to see your flesh and blood in a terrible situation, you want to make it better.  I knew if I did lose it, it would not help her.  I just repeated to myself everything is ok, it is in God’s hands now.  Standing in line to get checked in a child around her age handed her a small toy that was apparently just purchased in those little coin machines.  He said “It’s ok”.  Watching that transpire was like a sign to keep cool and it would be okay.

We were triaged and I waited outside the ER room so as not to make everyone else nervous with Thing Two’s cries.  I cleaned us both up from the blood that was on us and sat and sang to her.  It was really to soothe both of us.  As we sat there I watched ambulance come and go.  One ambulance was taking a child on a breathing machine to another hospital. Another brought a man with chest pain gasping and grasping his arm.  I rocked and sang and Thing Two was soothed and she even fell asleep for a bit.  In that moment I knew it would be ok.  My child was safe in my arms and she wasn’t in a life or death situation.  She was alive and we could get this fixed.  I thought of the parents of that child who was rolled out to another hospital and to the family of the man being brought in. 

Was the whole even nerve racking? Oh YES!  It was ten times worse when I had to watch Thing Two being restrained and get stitches on her pretty upper lip and here her scream “Why, Why, Why??!!”

I had to hold it together for her, for her dad who was pacing outside the ER room, for me.  So once the stitches and medication had been given and we were alone at home in bed, I cried.  I let all the tension and hurt out. 

I hope she can erase that fearful moment in her head.  I hope she is more resilient than I was.  I hope that the only scar she will carry will be the one on the top of her lip and not in her psyche.  That is what you do as a parent.  You never let them know that you too were scared.  You after all are their protector, the one that keeps them knowing that everything will be safe and normal. 

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What feelings have you set aside for the sake of your child's well being?

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Summer of love and patience: Mama Kat's world famous writer's workshop

One of this week's writing prompts for Mama Kat: Remember Summer?  Share a photo from last Summer that brings you back.  Read on:

In Southern California it goes without saying that we are blessed with wonderful weather almost always.  For the last couple of days it has been dreary, cloudy and cold, much to my chagrin.  So when the opportunity came up to be nostalgic about summer I jumped at the chance. 

I couldn't pick just one picture that I loved about last summer.  There was so much chaos during that tumultuous time last year.  My put-put of a car finally gave it's last breaths in June 2011 (RIP little silver bullet). I was in no way shape or form financially ready at the time to purchase a form of transportation and was just in bad shape. I took a bus and got around and I even got through getting a car by the end of the summer.

Being without a car really put things in perspective. I slowed down, I figured things out for the kids and how to get us to where we needed to be.  We visited parks and enjoyed the sun and the view from a bus.  Life seemed to slow down and remind us to appreciate what was there.  The funny part as I was browsing through our summer pictures was that the pictures where the kids were playing on a playground were taken when we took the bus.  The one's with them at the sprinkler were taken once we had a car.  No big difference in the joy and happiness in either of those pictures.

So for that summer I learned to slow down enjoy the moments of fun and sun. 

What is your favorite memory of summer 2011?

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