One by One

Together, but not.

10 years ago I thought I would never be a mom of one child let alone two.  Here I am a mommy of two beautiful children who make me want to pull my hair out at times.  Having two children only 17 months apart can be on the top list of stressful.  I have days when I realize that I no longer have two in diapers and the last child is almost ready for potty training.  I still have my challenges everyday. 

On occasion I have special one on one time with each child.  It seems so effortless to communicate with Thing One or Thing Two on our special one on one time.  My whole focus is one that one child and I seem to learn so much about them as an individual.  Thing One is actually a lot calmer when Thing Two is not around.  He seems to focus a lot better on a task and his thoughts are clear as well as his speech.  He is also not quite as loud. I'm thinking it's because he doesn't have to compete with Thing Two's incessant loud chatter. 

Calm

When Thing Two is alone with me, we can focus on things I know best.  Girl stuff.  She likes to play with my jewlery and pretend she is putting on my make-up.  I have to admit I soak up this time with her.  There are things that only a mom and daughter can share sometimes.  We've gone on shopping trips and we can just look at different clothes, and dress up items in the toy section.  She is a lot more patient than Thing One on a normal day and these are the times I can actually see how observant she is of the world around her.  I'm not constantly interrupting her thoughts while I have to remind Thing Two to stop what he is doing or to leave his sister alone. 

Observing. 

I often think what it would be like to just raise one child. Parenting is hard enough with one child, but adding another into the mix is just wild.  Each child feeds off each other and sometimes I feel as though one is losing out in their basic personality.  Then I think where would they be without each other.

They bring out the best in each other and protect each other.  Sure there is a lot of fighting and arguing, but for the most part they are each other's best friend.  Things would be much easier with one, but with two it's a life of fun.

If you have more than one child what do you do to create alone time with you?  Do you think your child is different alone than with their sibling?

Happy 2nd Birthday!

It was a beautiful Sunny day in Southern California.  I was a week away from my due date of January 20, 2009.  I kept thinking, wow she’s coming on a special day.  The first African American President will be sworn in on that very day.  On January 14, 2009 I left Thing One with my mom to a what I thought would be an uneventful doctor's appointment.  I was wrong, I was 4 cm dialated by the time I got to the doctor, no turning back now.  At 9:47 PM Thing Two made her appearance into this world, and nothing will quite be the same for us ever again.

My Muñeca (doll) has changed the family dynamic in so many positive ways.

• She is the one who comforts her brother when she hears him crying when he is in a time out. 
• She is also the one who shakes her head when he is doing something he shouldn't
• She is the empathatic child who worries and says with a concerned look accross her face "Baby crying momma!" when she hears another child crying. 
• She lights up a room with her mischiveous smile.
• She makes Big Cheese, Grandpa Big Cheese and her older brothers a softer people.  She is the only girl in that dynamic. :)
• She delights us in being a girly girl with dresses, and trinkets, and crowns.
• I can see a glimpse that someday she is going to make a great mother by the way she cares for her dolls.
• She can't keep a beat to save her life when she dances, but she tries and she is confident in what she can do.  That makes me smile. 
•  She is confident and demanding.  She wants what she wants.  I call it focused and goal oriented, but really it's just a tantrum. 
• She makes me want to be a better mom, to show her what her job will be as a parent in the distant future. 

My dearest baby girl, you mean the world to us, and we would not want it any other way.  You turned us upside down with the joys you bring into our lives daily.  We love you, Happy 2nd birthday!  

The Tale of Princess Heiress

I've heard that the current recession we are currently in began on or around June 2007.  That is one month before having Thing One.  I don't think I ever felt the pinch during that time at all.  Thing One had the latest baby gear, large amounts of new clothes.  Before he even came to this world, Mami threw me the biggest baby shower ever!  I had every gadget, gizmo, new trend you could possibly think for a new baby.  I have always been a careful shopper and consumer, frugal if you will, but I never imagined what the next year would bring me.  YES! BABY #2.  A mere 8 months after giving birth to what I thought would be possibly my only child I was pregnant again.

I always wanted more than one baby, but didn't know if it would even be possible for me. I had saved some of Thing One's baby clothes, gear, etc.  Let's face it I really had no time to get rid of some stuff since Thing One had barely outgrown many of the things. I was going to need these items for Thing Two on it's way.  I really wanted another boy, not just because I always related to little boys better, but I had SOOOOOOOOOO many boy clothes.  So 4 months into my pregnancy I go to the doctor, he says "BOY", I am happy.  I figure nothing will really need to be purchased except maybe extra diapers.  So two weeks after the news I go to a specialist for another sonogram.  "Do you want to know the sex?"  I was like, well I know it's going to be another boy.  I still said "SURE, WHY NOT?!" SURPRISE...a GIRL!  Oh my word, I was thinking NO WAY!  I had them check every time I got a sonogram to make sure the technician was correct. 

A Girl.  What was I going to do with a girl!?!  Ok, so then I wrapped my mind around having a sweet little girl, and I was ok.  That is until I thought of all the spending I was going to have to do on PINK...yes PINK.  EEEK!  I've never been a lover of the color pink.  So I figured, if strangers always asked about Thing One by starting  "How cute she is!".  That always perplexed me since he was in head to two in powder blue. So if they thought he was a girl, nothing wrong in sharing a little blue with my baby girl. 

I felt more of the economy taking a hold of me then.  I didn't lose my job, but people all around me were losing a job, a house.  Income that was spent frivolously was now being watched like a hawk. During this time Mami was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I had to take some time off of work to help take care of her after her mastectomy and treatment afterwards. That was really tight on my budget and I was thinking, my goodness my baby is due in 8 weeks!

There was no real time to have Mami do a huge baby shower like we had for Thing One.  Not only was money tight, but it would require that I help because Mami was having difficulty physically.  I felt the same, I was large and tired.  Not only because of the pregnancy but the sheer exhaustion from raising a toddler.  So it looked more and more that Thing Two was going to be wearing powder blue for a majority of her infancy. My co-workers did have a baby shower for me at work, and I did get a few things that were girlie and pink.  It was quite nice and I was getting use to the whole girl thing.

Fast forward to our current situation.  I am still working, thank goodness but raising two children is not cheap.  Often times Thing Two will be wearing last years blue footsie pajamas that Thing One grew out of.  Mami calls Thing Two "Princessa Heredera" (Princess Heiress).  I still purchase a few cute girlie outfits, because it's fun.  I just won't break the bank doing so.  Yes, she wears boy clothes, with a girl flair.  Mami often feels bad that she inherits all of Thing One's jeans, shirts, etc.  I'm sure I wouldn't be as cautious with the money if it were a better time, for now she will wear a Spider Man shirt and jeans with cute red bows in her hair.  She is my budget baby, Princess Heiress. :)  Nothing wrong with that, just some way in dealing with the new economic situation.  I just explained to Mami, this has been done generation after generation.  She is not getting hand-me-downs, she is getting well loved, comfortable clothes. :) 

So what have you had to change given the new economic circumstances of this country?  Have you put a positive spin on it?