What's in a word?

So, lately I have been reading a lot about being a single parent and all that entails. I think I'm really getting confused. I KNOW that I don't have a partner in my love life, that's an obvious YES. The problem comes when I read about "single" parents who are truly "single".

While I was struggling with a newborn and a 17 month old baby on my own I did very much feel like a single parent. Big Cheese would do the occasional visit and sometimes take Thing One for a few hours to where he was at. Still, it left me quite alone going crazy and knowing that the kids depended solely on me. It took almost two years until Big Cheese and I could come up with a comparable arrangement for both of us to have the children a reasonable amount of time. It also took two years of struggling about how we would divide financial responsibility with regards to our children. It has been a long road, and I am pretty sure there will be bumps in the road ahead but at least the lines of communication are opened.

Those first two years I did honestly feel like a "single" parent. I really didn't have that much support from the children's father emotionally or financially. He was there but very rarely for the kids. It was really rough and I thought back to those days and reflected to where we are now.

I feel "single parent" has the connotation for me as being alone with no help from the other parent at all, and doing it ALL on your own. The truth is I am not alone. I am blessed at the moment to have Big Cheese very involved with the raising of the children. He sees the children almost on a daily basis and every other weekend they spend the night at his home. He comes to special functions for the children's activities. He calls them to speak to them when they are not with him. We have figured out who pays for what and when one of us is short the other can't cover the spending the other compensates. We discuss about what we want for the kids in the future and how we should plan ahead for them with money, etc.

Somehow we have gotten to the point that we are no longer single parents. We have started to become like any other set of parents, except for the fact that there is no romance and we have two different homes. So I guess this is where I feel the term "single parent" doesn't work for me. I'm thinking "co-parent" works much better for me. We aren't married, but we definitely want what's best for our children. So I am no longer riding the roller coaster of single parenting. I am riding the roller coaster of co-parenting.

*insert cheesy smile HERE*

You say potatoe and I say "papa"

I recently took up a conversation with a co-worker about how upset I was about the new law passed in Arizona.  She works in the offices in Arizona where SB 1070 bill has now become a law.  In conversation I told her, "There is no way I am going to visit you now my friend, I'm boycotting Arizona!".  She laughed and continued with "Are you kidding me, I don't even speak Spanish anymore!"

Which got me a little bit fired up and saddened.  Here I am trying to raise children who will be bilingual and here is a law that will stifle people who refuse to speak it for fear of racial profiling.  WOW!  Strong message Arizona Governor, you are sending America backwards instead of forward!

I am aware of all that this new law covers.  I understand that immigration has become a problem, and that is not my issue.  My issue is that racial profiling will get out of hand. Citizens who may look a particular way, who for example maybe stopped for a traffic violation will be asked to provide legal proof of citizenship.  Let me tell you, I am Latina, very proud of being one as well as being an American.

Mami is from Ecuador she came from there with a dream to stay.  Yes, she is one of many thousands of people who came on a visitor's visa and stayed. She may not have entered this country with the appropriate papers, but she is here and she has learned the language and even has become an American Citizen.

Sarge's parents, my paternal grandparents,  also came over without papers in a time when there was just a line in the dirt. They made a living through the depression and eventually were in this country legally and raised to very fine American Citizens.

Sarge and the rest of our lineage have been proud American's with Latino roots.  Sarge's manipulation of the Spanish language was far from perfect.  He was very upset that his parent's encouraged him to only speak English for fear of not being able to assimilate to their new country and to be ostersized.  This was the 40's and there was the Zoot Suit Riots and racial profiling was at it's highest in Los Angeles.  My grandparents feared that there son would be targeted. 

Sarge often spoke of his frustration of not being able to communicate well with his parents because of his lack of knowledge of the spanish language.  He wanted to assure that I would be able to communicate with my family and to be able to help others as well.  Sarge made sure Mami only spoke to me in Spanish and that I would know all about both of my parent's culture.  He knew that eventually, while in the school system I would be able to manage both languages and that I would thrive.

Presently I speak to my children in Spanish and Big Cheese speaks to them in English.  That seems to work for now.  I also read to my children in both languages.  Many think I may confuse them doing so, but I want to raise well rounded children. I follow the guidelines for raising bilingual children and so far it seems to work. Now and again Thing One will switch back and forth languages or refuses to speak spanish to me, but it's all expected especially since he is at that age when language and learning are a huge part of his life

I want them to be bicultural as well as decent human beings who will be accepted despite their differences from their peers.  I hope that they will not be misguided in thinking that being of a different race or ethnicty and speaking another language will jeopordize their safety. 

For my co-worker in Arizona I say this:  "Do not fear my friend, be a strong person and don't be afraid of speaking something that come's natural to you."  For those of you who feel the need to keep people in fear: "SHAME ON YOU!" For all other's who believe this this law is infringing on your human rights: Take a stand, tell these politician's what America really stands for "EQUALITY"!  

For Thing One and Thing Two:  "My beautiful babies, don't ever be ashamed of who you are and where you came from or live in fear because of that. You are loved and Mommy will never let anything harm you!"

"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees." - Emiliano Zapata

Fuerza mi gente y adelante!