You have a WHAT?!?!

Last night as I do every night I was bathing both Thing One and Thing Two.  I've never found it odd that I bathe my children together, even if they are a boy and girl, it's never been an issue for me.  Actually it was for the most part a time saver.  Two kids, one bath, killed two birds with one stone.

Back to last nights bath.  Since Thing One has been potty trained he has this quirk that he pulls at his private part all the time.  I've read this is pretty normal, for me it's mostly the fact that he yanks it so hard he may hurt himself one day.  So as I have always done I gently remind him that he does not need to touch it unless he is going to the bathroom.  So there was Thing Two yanking at himself.  I finally had to say "Thing One, stop pulling at your penis!".  Thing Two is in the repeat stage and follows her brother Thing One's every movement, so you can imagine what came next.  Thing Two points to her private parts and says "PENIS!".  My thought was, ok we haven't told her the name of her part.  I told her "No Thing Two, you have a vagina".  What ensued next brought me to tears.  Thing One looks at himself and says " I have a GINA too! See!" (points to private part)  I wanted to laugh so hard, but I kept it together.  Then I repeated to Thing One that he had a penis.  Thing One in his loudest 3 year old voice says "NO! They match mommy!"  Well I almost was crying from the laughter. 

So there I am, wanting to share this with someone and so I text message Big Cheese to let him know what had happened.  I don't know if he was a little perplexed and maybe even a little disturbed by the fact that this had occurred.  He just was confused.  What do we do?  Should we have them bathe together?  I guess at that moment I realized that we had different parenting styles.  I'm all about being open with my children, letting them ask questions and having the accurate information for them.  That is why I refuse to have Thing One call his private parts "wee wee" or his "pee pee".  He knows he has a penis and now he has a name for his sister's anatomy.  I guess some people are still a little closed off and private when it comes to children learning the correct terms for their anatomy, and that's ok. 

So am I going to separate them in the shower?  I suppose eventually I will have to. For now I think it's pure and simply an observation for both of them and they are learning about the uniqueness in their own body.  Others may have other opinions about what I do, but I see nothing wrong in what I am doing so far with them.  So what did I say to Big Cheese?  Well that's easy, the same thing I do with Thing One and Thing Two.  I let him ask questions and I gave him accurate and concerete answers.  Sometimes Adults need to be approached the same way as young children. ;)

You Are Not Alone

Reading to his baby sister

Growing up I was the only child in our household. My sister was 13 years older than me and was out of the house by 16. She moved out and shortly after that moved to another state. I really didn't get an opportunity to build that sibling relationship. I always felt cheated of that relationship of sibling everyone else had. Of course my friends would tell me I wasn't missing out on anything. They would tell me horror stories and tell me I was lucky I didn't have to share anything with anyone.

You see, that was just it. I didn't really have someone to share that special bond of growing up in the same household and sharing that experience. I was the typical lonely only child. I may have experienced more bonding with my parents because I had no others to bond with. From the time I can remember I. wanted to have more than one child. I wanted my children to have the same special memories and the bond of being siblings.

Cut to my years of struggling to even conceive. I almost lost hope of even having one child, let alone more. It was a very sad realization that I may have to raise a lonely only. I think it was just a very hard moment all together to accept that a child would grow up with no connection to a sibling like I did.

When I got pregnant with Thing One I was both surprised and elated! All I could do was think of him and how happy I was. Labor was actually pretty good, enough so that right after I gave birth to him I said to the nurse " I will be here next year!". Maybe I was filled with endorphins at the time from giving birth. Big Cheese looked at me crazy when I blurted that out. He already had two teenage sons from a previous relationship and this was not an option.

With Big Brothers

From the time I had Thing One I knew he should have a sibling, and not just his two older brothers. He needed someone to share crazy family stories, someone to talk to as an adult and just have that bond. Big cheese was against it. For me I pushed forward with the idea like a presidential campaign. Finally he agreed that when Thing One would turn one we could try.

Our first vacation away from Thing One was when he was 8 months old. What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas! I was pregnant again, a little sooner than I anticipated. I cried, and not because I still had a baby and I was pregnant, I did it out of happiness. Thing Two would never be alone.

Thing One was 17 months old when his sister Thing Two showed up. I worried so much about how they would get along. Would they get along? I thought, well maybe he won't want to hang out with his sister as much. So many worries! Thing One couldn't be bothered by his new sister for awhile. He kissed her but he was just happy to be himself and walk away. I'm sure it was just his age but it still made me worry.

Why is she here???!!!

Thing One will be three years old soon and Thing Two just turned a year and a half. She follows Thing Two everywhere. She wants to do everything he does and I can see the admiration she has for him. It still worried me that Thing Two was not quite as affectionate towards her as she was with him. He sometimes seemed bothered by her hugs and kisses.

I like Super Why, because my brother does!

I went to pick up Thing One from the baby sitter for his swimming lessons the other day. Usually I pick up Thing Two as well and drop her off at home to stay with Mami, but that day Mami wasn't feeling well. I left Thing Two with the baby sitter and took Thing One with me. I had already anticipated Thing Two would be upset to be without her brother and myself. What happened next surprised me. Thing One looked at me and asked "yiyi?" (His name for her). I explained to him that she was staying there and we were going swimming. He threw himself on the floor and screamed "No! No! No!" I had to pick him up and put him in the car kicking and screaming. The whole time he was reaching out and screaming for Thing Two.

I brushed it off as just a reaction from the change of our normal routine. After swimming I dropped him off first and was going to pick up Thing Two. When we got home Thing One was running into the house and said hi to Mami, but the person he was calling for was"yiyi, where are you?". He went from room to room. I brought her back home and he ran to her hugged her and kissed her on her head "MUAH!" She was just as happy to see him.

It was a sigh of relief at that moment for me. It was just too precious. They would always have each other, even if somedays they didn't like each other or shared the same interest. They would ALWAYS love each other.

I really do love her ! <3

Men of Valor

Friday, June 11, 2010.  My son Thing One turns 34 months old.  I was a little sad during the week because of the hardship I was going with the car problems I was having and the trouble I was having getting help getting my kids situated while I found a way to and from work, etc.  I was really missing my dad at that point.  The man who was always there for me. The man I hope that Thing One will grow up to be.

 

That morning on the drive to work I heard the news of a CHP (California Highway Patrol) officer who had been killed while on duty.  I stopped and said a prayer for the family and was very reflective on the times my dad would go to work and Mami would say a prayer.  My father, Sarge, worked as a deputy for the Los Angeles Sheriff department.  Whenever I hear that an officer has gone down, I pray.  These men give there all to keep the rest of us safe. 

 

Later that morning one of my friends on Facebook contacted me and told me that the officer who had died was my other friend's younger brother.  The tears rolled down and I prayed even more. I felt the pain of my friend, losing her beloved brother.  I felt the pain of her mother, losing her son.  I felt the pain of his wife, losing her companion.  I felt the loss of his children, growing up without their father.

 

The men behind those badges have families, have loved ones, have friends.  They put it all on the line so you and I can remain safe. Then I was reminded of all the chivalrous men who do not wear a badge, but are heroes in their own way.  These men are those who pick up the pieces after an absent father, whether that be voluntary or involuntary.  Those men who will take children in as their own and shield them from harm and life's bumps in the road.  They can be step fathers who take in a whole family and make them their own.  They are brother's, friends, neighbors who in a moment's crisis are there.

On this Father's day I grieve for the father I lost to cancer and for those two children who's very courageous father not only protected them but protected the highways so that many other father's could get home safely to their children.  I also honor on those of you who take the place of a lost father. I honor those father's who find it necessary to keep and protect a family and stay married for long periods of time and take care of the mother of your children.  You are truly men of valor.

Dad, I truly miss you everyday.  In the 12 years you gave me as a father, you were exceptional and taught me life's lessons in a short period I was under your wing.  Everything you did for me served as an example to what I wanted to be like as a parent and values I instill in my little one's everyday. 

Thing One, you have big shoes to fill.