May 21, 2010

Letting go...

Worry.  The one word every mother knows.  I don't think there is one day in a mother's life that she at one moment or other has gone without it. Thing Two has had me worried these last two months.  This month marked Thing Two's 16th month of life. She is 2 months shy of reaching the fabulous year and a half mark.  My worry?  Simple, she wasn't walking.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's not physical.  The girl get's around with the help of furniture, walls, hands but she simply hasn't been able to let go and venture on her own.

Thing One, first born, he had me worried too around this age.  All the other children in his Gymboree class were walking on or before their first birthdays.  I kept reading and wondering when the magic moment would happen and then a week after his 14th month, BAM! Yes he was walking.  So I figured Thing Two might be walking a little later, no problem.  So after month 15 passed I started to go over in my head all of the things that could possibly be why she wasn't walking. Was she scared? Was it physical?  Was it neuroligical? So my mind going a million miles a minute probably was the best thing to do.  For the next month I observed Thing Two closely, every step, every movements.  I tried to encourage her a time or two to let go. 

Thing Two had other ideas.  When I would try to let go of the chubby little hand I could feel the forceful Kung Fu grip on my finger. I even said "Let Go baby!" Okay Thing Two hold on a little longer to mommy.  Inside I was holding on tightly as well. Worry, worry, worry! I think when I worry I manifest it physically as well.  I have had stomach pains and headaches all month.  I am sure there were other factors, but my biggest worry is my children's health and welfare. 

Mami even began to tell me "Ten Fe" (have faith).  I could see the worry in her face as well.  Mami as always has put her faith in her saints and her Catholic beliefs.  So yes Thing Two was in her prayers every night, please let her "Let Go" and walk. Sunday evening rolled around and Thing Two was sitting on her little sofa and playing with her Dora doll.  She tossed her doll a distance and stood up.  No big deal, she does that always.  What came next was more exciting than a rollercoaster!  One, Two, Three, Four steps!  I must have scared her when I yelled Go! Go! Go! She stopped. 

Relief and joy was the overwhelming feeling I felt.  I called Mami over and said, your prayers were answered she "Let Go!".  Mami just smiled and said "It was for you, not for her".  One moment, one joy, and yes I learned to let go and stop worrying so much.  Everything in due time.  Lesson learned Mami, I will loosen my Kung Fu grip.
 
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