This has everything to do about my tata's being pressed into one of these things and holding my breath, not because the technician asked me to, but because I was in pain and it literally took my breath away. I just turned the big 4-0 and I realized I hadn't had a "check-up" since the essure procedure two years ago after Thing Two. I think it was safe to say that I needed to see my OB/GYN.
Right about the time I was 8 months pregnant with Thing Two, Mami had been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was stage one breast cancer very survivable, but scary to say the least. We are lucky it was caught because Mami is vigilant when it comes to her appointments and health. She opted for complete removal of the breast because a lumpectomy would not guarantee she would not have another tumor and it would mean weeks of radiation. I know why she opted for that drastic move. She looked at me with a big swollen belly due at any moment, dealing with a 15 month old baby and going through a recent separation from Big Cheese. I know she sacrificed her tata for peace of mind for me. I know that's why she did it. She says it was because she didn't want to go through the uncertainty of it all, but the first thing she said was that she didn't want me to worry. Mom's sacrifice so much for their children.
I helped Mami get through the surgery and the weeks of draining the wound and the fitting of her prosthetic. I was drained emotionally and physically. I thought of nothing but her and my two children. What would I do without my Mami? Would my children remember her if the cancer took her life? It was a long journey and 4 months after all this we were able to breathe a sigh of relief. The cancer had been successfully taken and since then we have not had any re occurrence of it. Mother's sacrifice so much for their children.
So yesterday after taking Thing Two to her 2 year old check up I went for a mammogram. As any mother would attest, the sacrifice of having to go through what we have to is worth any pain. I want to be around to see my babies go to school the first time, to have the first boyfriend or girlfriend, to dry their tears after their heart is broken, to cry at their wedding, and to hold their children. So me being uncomfortable for a few minutes in order to make sure the same cancer that struck Mami has not somehow been passed to me, was worth it. I know what it's like to not be able to share triumphs and heart break with a loving parent because of a disease. I do not wish that heart ache on them.
I will take care of myself, for them. I will go out and exercise and take care of myself both physically and mentally, for them. It's not that I no longer matter, it's that I matter to someone who needs me.
What have you sacrificed in the name of your children?
